PERFECT STORM

Last year all the elements in my upside down life lined up to create the perfect mental and emotional storm. A storm that blew the blinders off my eyes and sucked my head out of the sand.

Painful, very painful at first to acknowledge that I had only been lying to myself and giving someone else one free pass after another to lie to me also.

Very hard and painful giving up a dream that you have held so close to your heart, have fought so hard to protect and nurture.

You know what else is painful....?

Giving love but never receiving it in return. Or if you do it is rationed out in small bits as if there is none to spare.

Giving time and energy. Working to keep the lines of communication up and open, even if it means doing all the communicating yourself....

Never too busy to talk or write....and never having that returned.


Busy....forgot....didn't have time....etc...Once in a while....okay. I can roll with that. But ALL the time.....? Houston we have a problem.

So, I worked, wrote and cried myself, alone through the perfect mental and emotional storm.

And then.....

When I stopped communicating.....There was little to no communication.

LIGHT BULB MOMENT....!!!!

And then....I discovered......

How wonderful it is to love yourself and say, "Hell no. I'm not taking any more shit"

How wonderful it is to allow yourself to be and receive love.

How wonderful it is to throw down those defenses and allow someone to be strong for and there for me.

How wonderful....truly wonderful it is to matter to someone.....to have that freedom to pick up the phone at any time, without restrictions and know you will hear a voice that is glad you called.

How wonderful to NEVER hear how busy someone has been which translates into, "You weren't important enough to make the time or effort".

Sorry guys, but, "busy" doesn't cut the mustard. Perhaps it did before cell phones, email,text messages and Instant messages, but these days....nope....that dog won't hunt.

My new motto is, If I don't see it for myself....it don't mean diddly squat. You can tell someone all day long how much you love and miss them, but unless you show it....it doesn't mean one gosh darn thing. Just more empty words that have no meaning.

In closing....

When people show you who they REALLY are.....BELIEVE THEM.

and.....

When they show you how little you mean to them.....You better believe that too and run like hell and like the song by Carrie Underwood....."UNDO IT"

THE SHAME OF OXFORD ALABAMA

The mouth of the south has a name and it is Leon Smith. If we were children on a playground, taunts of, “Liar,liar, pants on fire” would be aimed directly at him.



In question and still in the news is an ancient Native American Indian mound. Evidence abounds that this area was once a rich, proud and thriving Indian village.

Despite what Leon (Tweedle Dee) told the Anniston Star last year that the mound would be left alone and not used for commercial development. He contradicted himself in an article that appeared on the New York Times web site on March 12,2010. Reckon he thinks us hillbillies in Bammy don’t read and would be too dumb to notice a Sizzler where an ancient Indian mound once stood.

He stated his plans to demolish the stone pile and to erect a hotel, restaurant or maybe a health clinic.

“It’s going to be real pretty”, he was quoted as saying.

This all began when the city of Oxford and the merry band of morons who run it, decided to use the dirt under the mound as fill dirt for a Sam’s Club that was to be built at the nearby Oxford Exchange.




The city commissioned a study of the mound in question that was conducted by Robert Clouse, an archaeologist at the University of Alabama.

In the first report he concluded the mound was man made. The second report by Clouse after the you know what began hitting the old fan states in his opinion it was the result of “natural forces” and isn’t culturally significant. An opinion that experts around Alabama and the Alabama Historical Commission disagree with.

Earlier this year, Harry Holstein a professor of archaeology at Jacksonville State University reported that an earthen mound located across the street from the mound was gone. A face that Smith passed off by saying it was not gone and was still there if you knew where to look. Okay, take me there and SHOW ME.

In the days following these reports, another little tid bit came to light. On January 8,2010 ancient human remains were discovered at the multi million dollar sports complex site. It was NOT reported to the proper authorities.

Meanwhile, as of now, construction has been halted by the Corps of Engineers. They stopped the project in late February because it was not notified about the discovery.

Now, with every day that passes as construction equipment remains idle, the city is losing $12,000 dollars a day. (Boo frickin hoo)

The Anniston Star reported that to date the city has spent more than 5.9 million dollars on the project and purchase of land.

According also to a report in the Anniston Star, Holstein said:

“We told them there were 24 archaeological sites on that parcel of land, including a temple mound and village areas. The Historical Commission signed off on it.”

This is an issue that should concern not just residents of Oxford or Alabama, or just Native Americans. This should concern and anger decent people everywhere. The total and complete lack of respect shown to the remains of a human being, a proud people and culture are being spit on by Leon Smith and his merry band of thugs.

I even had a exchange in a chat room with someone in Oxford on the issue who stated she was tired of hearing about it, wanted it all to go away and they should, “…tear down the whole thing and build whatever they want….”

Her reasoning was, “This land doesn’t belong to them Indians. It is ours and we can do with it what we please and if they don’t like it, then go home.”

That mad me so mad! Guess what lady (?)…THEY ARE HOME.

Just as this issue was coming to light last year, PBS had a wonderful 5 part series I think it was on the American Indians and the first Europeans to arrive here. It was chilling and eye opening.

The history books I studied while in school made it all seem so nice and polite. The Indians lived here, we arrived, they helped us, we helped them, we traded, we bought their land, they moved. Oh sure there were a few fights and wars, but……

The history books didn’t talk about the treaties that were broken or the way they were treated in their own county.

Leon Smith has been the mayor of Oxford for over 20 years. No doubt in that time he has done much for the city, moved it forward and put it on the map as the place to be, live and go in Calhoun County. They call him, “King Leon”. Seems like now he is starting to believe it.

There are several videos on Youtube dedicated to this topic.


CITY OF OXFORD:

145 HAMRIC DRIVE EAST
PO BOX 3382
OXFORD,ALABAMA 36203

VISIT THE CITY OF OXFORD PAGE ON THE WEB. THERE IS FORM ON THE CONTACT PAGE WHERE YOU CAN SEND AN EMAIL.

THE POWER OF PINE SOL

Last year life mentally,emotionally and physically,kicked my ass. Six deaths in the family, 3 happening all within the same month,medical problems,family problems,relationship problems...seemed like I was living under a black cloud. Reminded me of a lyric in an old Eagles tune:

"Every morning, I wake up and wonder, what's gonna happen today"

Life was slipping away from me and I finally reached the point where I didn't care. Let it slip right away, I thought to myself.

Now, with my medical issues seemingly somewhat under control, not living in almost constant pain, I am beginning to see some of the things that I let slip away from me.

Among them, my house.

I know it may sound crazy, but cleaning was something I had always enjoyed. I took great pride in my surroundings. It gave me a great sense of accomplishment at the end of the day to look around and see the neat, tidy and sparkling clean fruits of my labor.

Growing up, cleaning the house didn't just fall to my Mother, it was a family event. Especially on Saturday's. I can still hear music from the stereo playing through the entire house with the scent of Pine Sol and Pledge filling the air. Those are pleasant memories.

Over the years I had refined my house cleaning routine down to a perfect system. Chores were broken down into daily, weekly and monthly tasks. Even while I was raising children and living in a marriage made in hell, the house at least was something I could control. Predictable things are easy to control. You know the furniture will need to be polished, so you polish it.

With a rare Monday with the house all to myself, I focused on some of the small things I had ignored over the years. Things that other people wouldn't and don't notice. I mean, how many people step up on a chair to look on top of your fridge to see if it is clean or not? Not many, but just knowing they could, gives me some warped kind of joy.

After 2 weeks of being in a deep cycle of insomnia, I was able to crawl into bed last night and sleep for over 7 hours without waking up once.

Maybe it was the scent of Pine Sol that still lingered in the kitchen and master bath that came and reminded me of sweeter days when I felt safe and loved.

BOB RILEY-ALABAMA'S OWN DUDLEY DO-RIGHT

Gov.Bob Riley is on my last nerve and I'm counting down the days until he is out of office.

Riley has vowed to protect and defend the "standard of living" in Alabama by waging war on gambling in the state of Alabama. The gambling in question is bingo played via slot machines.

Each year Alabama watches millions upon millions of dollars say bye-bye to us and travel to other states to gamble and play the lottery.

Meanwhile on the home front, he has a problem with "gambling" as it is now. His problem is that electronic bingo in the places popping up around Montgomery, Birmingham and south Alabama don't require enough inter-action. It seems the difference between gambling and not gambling is the number of buttons you have to push.

He is and has spent millions of tax payer dollars riding on his white horse to save us all while cutting education and laying off much needed teachers.



My question to Dudley....err....Bob Riley is this....Why stop at gambling...? Why not save us from the evils of tobacco and alcohol...? After all they have killed and harmed more people in the state than gambling ever has.....so what not take aim at them....?

You can't pick and choose which "sins" to be against based on the almighty dollar....can you...?

Maybe Bob isn' so squeaky clean after all.

Your time is almost up Bingo Bob. Time for you to go back to Ashland and stay there!

JOHN SCHNEIDER-GREATEST HITS

JOHN SCHNEIDER'S GREATEST HITS

Out of the blue last week, listening to a mixed tape a friend made me years ago, a John Schneider song caught me by surprise. It got me to thinking about the string of hit songs he had.



I jumped on line and ordered his Greatest Hits CD.

His voice is so smooth, the songs are all great and speak to me in different ways, speaking to me on very personal levels.They do so even more now.

I'VE BEEN AROUND ENOUGH TO KNOW

You don't need to try and fool me. You don't need to lead me on. You don't need to say you love me. I've been around enough to know.

COUNTRY GIRLS

Country girls are sweeter than Tupelo honey. Country girls are warmer than the Georgia sun. They know how to touch you, know how to love you, take you right out of this world, I'm so glad that God made country girls.

IT'S A SHORT WALK FROM HEAVEN TO HELL

You gave me all kinds of reasons to stay...but like the fool that I am, I still walked away......and it's a short walk from heaven to hell....A few steps from an angel that loved me so well.......When I left I shook hands, with the devil himself and it's a short walk, from heaven to hell.

(**One line in the song I really like: "What I took for love, she took for fun"...I'm sure many out there identify with that lyric.")



I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU TOMORROW

We sleep separately together, never touching,and you won't talk about it, anymore,I guess you've just grown so used to having me around you, that I'm just, so old habit that you ignore.

WHAT'S A MEMORY LIKE YOU YOU (DOING IN A LOVE LIKE THIS)

What's a memory like you, doing in a love like this, she thinks we're all through, but that's not the way it is, when I hold her in my arms, it's your lips I still kiss, what's a memory like you, doing in a love like this....

YOU'RE THE LAST THING I NEEDED TONIGHT

'Cause I've got all that I need to be happy, 'cause your love makes everything right, you're the first thing that I'll need tomorrow and your the last thing I needed tonight.....your the last thing I needed, you always are, I can't wait for the day to end, your the last thing I needed, to hold in my arms, if I, should never wake up again.....Now always find you somewhere in my dreams and I know when I close my eyes, you'll be the first thing that I'll need tomorrow, and the last thing I needed tonight.

AT THE SOUND OF THE TONE

I called her up to say I'm sorry, I just can't have lunch today, 'cause the boss just called and he's flying in from LA. And as the phone rang, I remembered a time, how simple things used to be, then her voice came on the line and I heard the answer machine, she said, I'm sorry I can't take your call, but I'm packing up to go away, and, John, if that's you, your just canceling lunch anyway, oh you used to find the time, but now you don't even try, so at the sound of the tone, your own your own.....good-bye.

TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME

Since she left me, I've got a choice, I can take the long way home.

LOVE, YOU AIN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME

I been losing my mind, one love at a time, gettin' up just to be knocked down...but with all that pain I come back again..and I always go one more round....

AOL is AO-HELL

I am FED up with AOL.

Once upon a time when a new version of AOL was released, an installation CD was sent via the mail.

An AOL 9.0 Optimized CD came with my computer back in 2004.

Sometime later an AOL 9.0 Security Edition was sent in the mail.

Since then, the AOL 9.0 Security Edition CD became scratched and not usable, so, I'm stuck with 9.0 Optimized.

Worth noting is that AOL crashes at least twice a month requiring that I reinstall it.

I have scanned the AOL Help section (which is, NO help at all)

I am guessing that installation CD's are a thing of the past.

Here is a newsflash.....

Some of us don't live in urban areas. We live out in the sticks where the ONLY choice is dial up.

As I write this, I have been downloading (LOL) AOL 9.5 online. Been at it for over an hour now and it isn't even up to 10% downloaded. By my calculations, it will take over 10 hours to download. Are you freaking kidding me....!!!!!!!!!!

Try to find something....anything about a CD installation on AOL Help and you come up with ZIPPO. In fact, trying to find anything that could be considered mildly helpful is like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles.

You would think for $25.90 per month, they could afford to produce a freaking CD.

In short, AOL is AO HELL and I'm about to kiss them goodbye.

For anyone that doesn't live in BumbleBucket USA and has a connection that isn't dial up, here is a business idea for you....Go to AOL the AOL site where it gives instructions on how to make your own AOL 9.5 CD, make one and then sell it to the dial up suckers.

WHO'S YOUR DADDY or THE TIDE ROLLS OVER FLORIDA

I had myself a quiet day planned Saturday. With a rare day alone and the house all to myself I would play my music as loud as I wanted and attack the growing mess in the office.

A last minute change of plans had me sitting inside the Georgia Dome for the SEC CHAMPIONSHIP game between my beloved Crimson Tide of Alabama and the Florida Gators. Of course, everyone and their dog knew Alabama was the underdog but so what. Not like we haven't been the underdog before, but as someone who grew up on Alabama football, I know that you NEVER count out the team from Tuscaloosa,Alabama.

The fans in our section were mostly wearing CRIMSON with a healthy sprinkling of Florida fans thrown in for good measure. Seated to my left, 4 Florida fans who commenced to bragging and counting a victory before the first snap. Each time he would say something to me, I just smiled. After being poked for the fifth time and asked:

"What ya think 'bout that Bama gal?"

I replied:

"We do our talking on the field."

The atmosphere was electric. Florida faithful were remembering the previous years win over the Tide in the SEC Championship game and fully expecting a repeat. Meanwhile, the Bama Nation was hell bent on revenge. That became clear when the Crimson Tide exited the tunnel, running onto the field. Meanwhile, the Gators, strolled.

Mid way through the fourth quarter, most of the Gator fans in our section were long gone. Their hopes of a trip to California to play for the National Championship were rolled away by an Alabama team that came ready to play. In the final seconds of the game, Tebow was in tears and Florida was Alabama's bitch!

"Oh the weather outside if frightful, but the Dome is so delightful. Tebow has no place to go.....Let it ROLL,let it ROLL, let it ROLL."

Rammer Jammer rocked the Dome. Saban and the players saluted the crowd as "Sweet Home Alabama.....ROLL TIDE ROLL", filled the air.

Tebow's performance, along with Colt McCoy's less than impressive game,should give Mark Ingram a very good chance at winning the Heisman. A first for Alabama.

All I want for Christmas is a 13th National Championship.

I love Saturday when you are looking for a win and Sunday when you found one.

ROLL TIDE ROLL!