Tuesday, August 9, 2011


Some years back, I made a U-turn in my life that lead to exactly nowhere. There I remained stuck inside some kind of twisted day dream or fantasy left over from childhood fairy tales.

I've since learned that life isn't a fairy tale and, "...they lived happily ever after", isn't the rule but the exception.

I refused to see things as they really were and instead chose to see them through my rose colored glasses and painted everything with unicorns and rainbows. I couldn't admit the truth to myself, nor could I acknowledge it because to do so would require taking off my rose colored glasses and seeing reality. I wasn't ready for reality. Not then. I am now.

It took a long time. A very,very long time and the glasses didn't come off all at once but painfully slow over time allowing me to see tiny bits of truth until at last the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth was revealed live and in color right before my eyes.

The first step was seeing the truth.
Second step acknowledging the truth.
Third step accepting the truth.

If I could only go back and recapture all the time I spent chasing something that wasn't real and only existed to me.

I wrote the story line I wanted and edited the actions of others to fit what I felt and wanted. A never ending battle was going on in my mind pushing the truth from my mind.

It took watching another person chasing their dream and trying to hold onto it reguardless of the cost to their life,happiness, peace of mind,pride and self esteem that was my wake up call. As if someone held up a mirror, watching it from the side lines, I could not ignore the truth of my own life.

I guess the greatest lesson I've learned since I left the safety of my Daddy's home is this: Don't believe the words, believe the actions. Ideally, words and actions will line up and agree with one another but when they don't, remember that mouths will lie but actions never do.

Don't waste your time chasing rainbows. Make your own!